His Love

I know women who seems to be so self-confident.  Life does not seem to phase them at all.  They radiate an inner sense of well-being.  They just seem to be happy being themselves.

I have spent most of my life trying to reach that place.  I was insecure as a child. My teen years were a challenge to see where I fit in.  I used the standards of the world to define myself and look for a sense of worth.  I was happiest as a young married woman with a family of my own.  I loved my family more than anything in the world.

I didn't realize how much of what I thought of myself was tied to what my husband thought of me until he left. I was an emotional wreck who blamed myself for his leaving.  Obviously I wasn't good enough.  I wore an imaginary sign that said "worthless".

Thank goodness I came to know better.  I really am okay.  I like being who I am and I enjoy being with myself.  The journey from worthless to infinite worth was a spiritual journey that took several years.  I had to finally internalize all the teachings of the church and let them sink into my heart.  And as I opened myself in prayer to the Father, I was blessed to feel His Love.  I think that even if we were loved and adored by the whole world we would not understand what it really means to be loved until we know that He loves us.  I am eternally grateful that He reached out and touched me with that understanding.  I am a daughter of my Heavenly Father, who loves me, and I love Him.

Daughter of God

I remember with great emotion the evening that the Young Women's Theme was introduced to the women of the church.  I was a mom in attendance that night, not the young woman for whom the theme was directed. But I was touched through and through by those words.  I contrasted them to the words I had repeated as a young girl in the church I had previously attended "I am by nature sinful and unclean".  Now I would replace those words with new ones "I am a daughter of a Heavenly Father who loves me and I love him."  Tears flowed that night as I felt the impact of that statement.

My poem reflects my journey to truly embrace those words and know them for myself.  For far too long I judged myself by the standards of the world around me and by how others treated me.  It was a long road to the point where I had personally felt God's love for me and knew in my heart that I was His precious daughter.  That knowledge has made all the difference in my life.