New Heart

Jesus, Lord at Thy Birth

The celebration of Christmas in our community was almost universal when I was a child.  Even school would have bulletin boards with the Nativity Scene.  The overwhelming majority celebrated Christmas.

  Over the years America has become very diverse.  We have so many different religions represented today that any particular group's celebrations cannot be recognized as universal to a community.  However, Christmas still is a national celebration.  School will be out.  Businesses may close.  Government offices will be closed.  The decorations and lights of Christmas are everywhere around us.  But that is the secular part of Christmas.  We all can enjoy that part and I am glad that we do.  It brightens the dark days of December. 

Nevertheless I feel a sadness as I look around or  listen to the music.  The community at large focuses on the secular part because it is the part we can all share and enjoy.  The real meaning of Christmas - the acknowledgement that this is the birth of Jesus Christ, the Savior of the World - that is no longer the public celebration.  I am not angry about it.  It can no longer be that way in our diverse communities.  Yet I know too many "Christians" for whom the holiday is also secular and that is what makes me sad.

Christmas Gift to God

Everyone who celebrates the real Christmas in our culture usually has added Santa to the celebration.  For good or for bad he has become a part of the season.  And there is good and bad in that addition.  The bad part for me is that Santa makes Christmas "all about me" as the child worries about what Santa will bring him.  Perhaps I blame Santa too much.  Perhaps the addition of gift giving even without Santa would do that.  The average child is not ready to focus on giving. He is too self-centered.  So Christmas begins with "me" in the way we celebrate.  Talk all you want about the real meaning of Christmas - the child will go to sleep Christmas eve excited because Santa is coming.

Yet fairy tales end and children grow up.  The focus gradually changes.  One of the joys of being a parent is that you become Santa and you are totally focused on delighting your children. 

Yet there is still another whole level of Christmas celebration that occurs to those who focus their celebration on the Savior himself.  It happens over time as year after year you celebration this "holy day".  The story become etched on your heart. "And in came to pass in those days. . ." becomes more important than "Twas the night before Christmas. . ."

Then life itself brings a unique set of challenges to each of us that cause us to reach out to this Christ Child.  Those personal experiences change our hearts and the holiday comes and we find ourselves celebrating the birth of the One who has given us so much!  Our hearts are filled with loved for Him.  What a celebration Christmas then becomes.

Light Came Into the World

I don't know about you but I am bothered by the darkness of the winter months.  So the holiday lights of December really make a difference to me.  I look forward to Christmas and how the nights are SO beautiful.

I've had dark seasons of my life also.  It was the Savior who brought light to me in those times.  And so it is very appropriate that the holiday lights remind us of His coming into the world.  

The Sacrament

As LDS people we have both the Bible and the Book of Mormon to teach us about the Savior's Atonement and His great love for us.  As we go through life and experience the challenges that life puts in front of us, we know we can turn to Jesus Christ and find the help we need.   Because of this we each end up with many personal spiritual experiences that frame our lives and strengthen our testimonies of the Living Christ.  Then each Sunday as we partake of the sacrament, we remember the Savior - remembering not just the Bible stories about Him, but remembering the many ways He has touched us personally.  Those memories are what triggered this poem about the sacrament.

Gethsemane

It was at a time when my best friend's son died that I had this experience of feeling such intense pain for someone else.  As I watched my friend and her husband, I felt so helpless.  There was nothing I could say or do that could ease that kind of pain.  It just hurt so much to watch them suffer.  And then I began to think about the Savior and how He feels our pains.  I have come to love the scripture in   Alma 7: 11-12 where it says: "And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.  And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities."  At a time when I had my own personal struggle, someone asked me, "Don't you know anyone who has gone through this and can give you some support?"  I instantly knew that it was the Savior who would understand my pain and would support me.  I turned my heart to Him.  I am grateful to know that He was there and that He understood what I was going through.  That has been the greatest source of strength in my life.

I

My Life is a Miracle

Difficult times come to all of us.  There is no way to escape that fact.  What I have learned from those times is that God is real.  He knows us intimately and loves us beyond comprehension.  He wants to comfort us and to help us through whatever life may bring.  He wants us to find joy in life's journey.  I know this because He has been the friend who was with me every step of the way and in the ways that only those who have found Him know, He has held me in His arms and made His love known to me.  My life is a miracle and a testimony of the power and Atonement of Jesus Christ. 

The Gift

It's April 24, 2011 - Easter Sunday.  Lynn gave me a wonderful Easter gift today - his written testimony of the Savior.  And so I would just like to say here on this blog that I have a testimony of Jesus Christ.  He is the Only Begotten Son of the Father.  He is creator of our world and all that is in it.  He is the Light and the Life of the World.  He Lives!  And because He lives, He is available for each of us when we find ourselves burdened with sin or with the trials of life.  Through His atonement he has overcome all - sin, grief, death.  Because of Him there lies before us a glorious future if we will but place our faith in Him.  Every day I thank God for giving us the matchless gift of His Son.

Self Honesty

As we grow older we want there to be integrity in our lives.  We all make mistakes along the way and wish we could go back and relive certain places.  But we can't and even if we could go back we would still be that same person we were then.  I fear we'd still make the same mistakes.  What we really wish is that the person we are today could go back and relive our life.  But that person is the accumulation of  the experiences we had along the way and yes, of the mistakes we made and learned from.

But if we have faith in Heavenly Father's plan for us and truly believe that our life on earth was to be instructional for our good, then we must accept that the mistakes were to be teaching moments.  They were meant to help us in our progression.  And God is cheering us on.  He does not condemn.  He only wants us to learn and to keep moving forward.

We hear this scripture often; "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life."  We don't often go to the next verse though and that verse is important.  "For God sent not His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved."

He loves us and sent His Son Jesus Christ so that our sins and errors would not condemn us.  When we repent those experiences become the lessons that change our character and help us ultimately become more like Him.

I personally believe it is good every once in a while to really examine our lives and make sure we are not hiding pieces that we given to us to instruct us.  Hidden places of shame and guilt can cloud our inner being. I was guided into such an examination of my inner life by the book He Did Deliver Me from Bondage.  It was a beautiful experience of communing with God as I looked at my life and talked to Him about the mistakes I had made along the way and the grudges I held and the anger over times I could not reconcile.  Heavenly Father is so loving.  He always welcomes us when we come to Him.  I have felt His love in very real ways as I have opened my heart to Him.

It is a wonderful feeling to know there are no secrets between Him and me.  But it is just as important to have no secrets from yourself.  I wrote this poem one day after such a prayer session when I felt my heart had been completely open.

Chaos

My Redeemer

I wonder if most women resonate with the story of the Savior and the woman at the well.  I do.  It was such a personal encounter and reflected so many truths about Him.  He cared for this woman even though she was a Samaritan and looked down upon by the Jews of the time.  He knew her life and the things she had done yet He took time to visit with her and to counsel her.  He invited her into His fold as He offered her the living water.  She accepted Him as the Christ. 

It is in these very personal encounters that I have also discovered the Savior.  Before that I used to think of Him as THE Redeemer.  But having experienced His love and help in my own life, I now know that He is indeed MY Redeemer.

From John Chapter 4:

Then cometh he to a city of Samaria, which is called Sychar, near to the parcel of ground that Jacob gave to his son Joseph.  Now Jacob’s well was there. Jesus therefore, being wearied with his journey, sat thus on the well: and it was about the sixth hour.

There cometh a woman of Samaria to draw water: Jesus saith unto her, Give me to drink.

(For his disciples were gone away unto the city to buy meat.) Then saith the woman of Samaria unto him, How is it that thou, being a Jew, askest drink of me, which am a woman of Samaria? for the Jews have no dealings with the Samaritans.

Jesus answered and said unto her, If thou knewest the gift of God, and who it is that saith to thee, Give me to drink; thou wouldest have asked of him, and he would have given thee living water.

The woman saith unto him, Sir, thou hast nothing to draw with, and the well is deep: from whence then hast thou that living water? 

Art thou greater than our father Jacob, which gave us the well, and drank thereof himself, and his children, and his cattle? Jesus answered and said unto her, Whosoever drinketh of this water shall thirst again: But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never ^athirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life.

Dark Places

Depression is a terrible, irrational thing.  I don't even like to look back and remember the long days and nights when I felt this bad.  Fortunately for me, it was a fleeting time.  My depression was not a clinical case - just a period of life when there was so much wrong that I could not break out of the gloom and darkness that surrounded me.  Healing took place as I began to understand and apply the Atonement of Jesus Christ to my life and committed to following Him in all things. I had a favorite song that helped and I would sit and listen to it everyday.  I believed that Michael McLean must have written it for me - somehow he knew there was a "me" out there that needed the message of the song.

The message of this moment is so clear;
And as certain as the rising of the sun.
If your world is filled with darkness doubt and fear,
Just hold on, Hold on; the light will come.
Ev'ryone who's ever tried and failed
Stands much taller when the victory's won.
And those who've been in darkness for a while
Kneel much longer when the light has come.

It's a lesson ev'ry one of us must learn;
That the answers never come without a fight.
And when it seems you've struggled far too long,
Just hold on, hold on; there will be light.

Hold on. Hold on. The light will come.

When you feel trapped inside a never-ending night.
If you've forgotten how it feels to feel the light,
If you're half crazy thinking you're the only one
Who's afraid the light will never really come

Just hold on. Hold on! The light will come.

The message of this moment is so clear;
And as certain as the rising of the sun.
If your world is filled with darkness doubt and fear.
Just hold on, hold on, the light will come

The Light did come.  In John 8:12 the Savior said, "I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life."  I testify that He will bring light into our lives as we turn to him in sincere prayer and seek His help.  It did not come quickly for me, but in a very personal answer to prayer He guided me to know it would come as I followed Him so I trusted and moved ahead through what became a time of intense spiritual growth.  I wish I could always feel as close to Him as I did then for He was with me on what I can now call a beautiful journey.

The poem reflects my state of mind at the beginning.  If you have ever felt this way or do so now I wish to give you hope - hold on, the light will come.