School Photo

We all have incidents in our lives that we never forget.  I had one such incident when I was in the 6th Grade. My school was a small one.  There was one classroom for each grade K-6 so the teachers knew us all.  It was a nice way to do school.

Even back when I was a child there was the annual school photo.  As a parent I loved those photos.  They were my annual update on how each child had grown and changed. Looking back at those photos now, I love each one.

But back in 1956 I wasn't the mom.  I was the kid and I had acne.  It was horrible.  I wanted to crawl into a hole that year.  I knew everyone was staring at me.  I was embarrassed beyond belief!  And then came the day of the school pictures.  I wasn't smart enough to be sick that day.  And so the pictures were taken as they were every year.  But I made sure that my parents understood the great humiliation associated with this particular year's photo and so we didn't purchase them.

It was my teacher who was the problem.  The photographers didn't do a group class photo back then or even a compilation.  The only way the teacher got your photo was if you gave her one.  And my teacher wanted my photo so she purchased them.  Can you believe a teacher would do that!  She said she needed this photo so she would be able to remember me. I don't know if she remembers me but I remember her and always will.  In spite of acne, I had a teacher who cared about me.  She was an amazing teacher.

The Woods Called My Name

I was nine when we moved from the city to the "country".  In actuality it was the suburbs but our neighborhood was undeveloped and we had acreage as did our neighbors.  Behind the house was the "woods" as we called it.  It became our place to play.  Each season fascinated us and found us out exploring.  For me it was as if I had found myself.  My love for the outdoors began there amongst those trees.

Lori

I had a bunch of good girl friends in the 8th grade.  And as only girls can do, we wanted to be "alike" somehow.  But we didn't really want to dress alike or have our hair the same.  Then someone came up with the idea that if our names all ended in the letter "i" - we would have our way to be alike!  So we all changed our names and took nicknames.  Since I was Loretta, my name became Lori.

I don't know how my parents never learned of this.  Maybe they just ignored it, thinking it would go away. What I didn't realize was they were very invested in that name they had christened me.  They loved it.  It was just okay by me.  I liked "Lori" much better.  It had a special meaning for me.

So the years came and went and it was graduation.  I received my diploma and then afterwards ran to give it to my folks.  They took one look at it and I could tell something was wrong.  It said "Lori" instead of Loretta. They were not happy with me.

Tsunami

I had been back to the neighborhood of my childhood several times.  I had watched it deteriorate and sadly I visited once to find only a vacant lot where my childhood home had been.  But recently I took Lynn to see the old neighborhood.  I was not prepared for what we found.

The memories of childhood

fill my mind with happy thoughts.

I close my eyes and

see home and school and

friends of long ago.

Yesterday we drove around

that neighborhood.

Neither house nor street remained.

Like a war zone there

was little left.

The few houses we saw

were vacant or boarded up.

Only the phantoms of my memory

remain to remind me of

a wonderful place of long ago.

 

The Magic Street

Childhood memories are not always accurate.  The child's eye sees beauty in the common.  The mind remembers what it felt as much as what it saw.  Bauman Street in Detroit is the magic place of my memory.  We walked it every day on the way to school.  That half mile of road was filled with so many memories.  We played "Step on a Crack, Break your mother's back" as we walked along.  The drugstore was off limits on the way to school but the grocery store wasn't.  The candy store was saved for special days.  I can see them all in my mind's eye.

Builders

At school we used to talk about teaching process to the kids.  The product was not always as important as the fact that they had learned a process.  In life we say "Enjoy the journey". Isn't that the same thing?  I feel that way about homes.  Living in a house isn't as much fun as the fixing and creating and decorating.  Lynn and I have had a wonderful time fixing up our little home here in Milford.  The before and after shots are amazing.  But the in-between was a lot of fun!

Missouri

I have been a family historian since the first time a friend took me to the Genealogical Society as it was called back then.  We caught a bus from Provo to Salt Lake City one Saturday morning while we were attending BYU.  I was instantly hooked.  There in the archives of this building with row after row of microfilms I found the evidence of family members I never knew.  The adventure began and an adventure it has been.  I know them now.  I know their names, the places they lived.  I've seen photos and land plats and birth records and cemeteries. I have come to love my ancestors.

Empty Reminders

Isn't it funny how when a person dies, the whole family turns out to divide up the "things". Granted there is something wonderful about having a reminder of a person.  But I wasn't looking for something just to remind me of mom.  It was more like if I could just touch her things, and be in her house, and look through her drawers and closets and boxes, it kept me close to her.  It took a while but eventually I could just close my eyes and remember all the love and the good times that nothing can ever erase.  I didn't need her things.  I had a lifetime of her. 

Newborn Grandchild

Anticipation

I think phones never ring so much as those last couple of weeks before you give birth and friends and family are all so excited and want to know what is happening.  Isn't it wonderful to just think how much we all love the arrival of each new child?  But it also gets aggravating. You more than anyone wants this baby to come and you get tired of saying "Nothing, yet."

We have no control over time.  And so I wrote the poem "Anticipation".

The second poem is "The Law of Relativity" and was inspired as I watched the clock during the labor process of one of my daughters.  Time is a funny thing.  We watch a really good movie and realize that time has flown by and we hardly noticed. We sit in a dentist's chair having a tooth worked on and a few minutes  seem like a very long time.  Childbirth is also like that dentist experience.  Labor can seem like an eternity.  

Together

My sweet husband and I just like to be together.  Whether working in the garden or making the bed, whether working in a church calling or washing the car - it's just more fun when we do things together. 

My Kids

I've been working on family history again; a favorite pastime.  This particular week I have been scanning some old slides that I found in my trunk.  I thought I had had them all transferred to digital but there were a few more.  As I scanned, edited and saved these photos it was a step back in time for me.  And I found myself missing my kids.

The Moment

I guess it's just age that does this to me but it seems as though life is flying by.  I keep taking photos trying to hold on but you can't substitute a picture for the real thing.  So I plead with all to savor each moment.  Life is so precious - especially time with our kids.  Don't miss the moments - the little things they say and do.  The funny things they say.  The laughter they bring.  Their wonder at all life affords.  It is the most incredible season of our lives.

Milford

It is nice to live in a good neighborhood, with good friends all around you.  But Milford is even more than that.  This community offers so many wonderful pluses to our lives.  We have the Huron river where we kayak.  We have Kensington Metro Park where kayaking, feeding the birds, hiking, biking and watching sunsets give us so much pleasure.  North of us is Highland Recreation area where we also kayak in the rivers and lakes.  And then there are the parades.  Memorial Day, the 4th of July and Thanksgiving find the residents all heading to the downtown where we line the streets and enjoy the show.  There is just so much to love about Milford.  We feel blessed to live here.

The Gardener

Our yard is in a constant state of flux.  We have created in some ways a monstrosity with so many flowers.  The spring flowers start in February when the Snow Drops bloom.  It isn't until the end of March or early April that the star flowers, crocuses and daffodils peek through.  And that is just the start of the annual parade.  We have a perennial garden that has so many seasonal flowers we find it hard to remember what will pop up next so we are always surprised.  And on top of that, we keep making changes.  This one spreads too quickly.  Get rid of it.  Then we add a new one we saw at the store.  I'm not sure exactly what our plan is any more.  We are addicted to flowers!

Remembering Keith

In  Isaiah 49: 15 it reads:  Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee.

Women understand that scripture.  Here I am - approaching my seventieth year and still I think about the baby I lost thirty-two years ago . . . 

Emptiness - Losing a Baby

We lost Keith when he was born early - at just twenty weeks.  I had been ill the whole 

pregnancy and it appeared my body just couldn't handle the pregnancy any longer 

and I went into labor. He was alive when we went into the delivery room, but the cord 

wrapped around his neck and he was stillborn.   We had the honor of burying him ourselves.  

We built a little wooden box and wrapped him in a baby blanket that had been mine.  

It was a gift of love from me to him.  He lies northeast of Topeka in a little cemetery 

called Muddy Creek.   It was a lonely time.  Nothing filled the hole.  It just took time 

and a lot of prayer to find peace.  I have learned through my life's experiences that when 

the rough times come, there is a peace that is available when we are ready.  The Lord has

promised that to each of us.  As He spoke to the seas, He also speaks to us, "Peace, be still."  

But I was not ready - not for a long while.  I just needed to feel the emptiness I think and to grieve.

The Puzzle

I am such a genealogist!  I am smitten with it.  I like every little tidbit that I learn about the people, places, and stories that have all combined to make me who I am today.  We like to think we are self-made but it is not so at all.  I am the product of all those ancestors who preceded me as well as the product of all those who settled America and made her the land she is today.  Just the fact that I had food to eat every day and a roof over my head and a school to attend were all gifts given to me.  I have so much to be grateful for.  And so I hunt around for the clues to the puzzle that is my history.  I also love puzzles: crossword, jig saw, Sudoku, you name it.  So I couldn't resist writing this little poem.

Photo Labels

After my dad died, Mom and I decided we should make sure all the old family photos were labeled.  I am so glad we did this.  But even then we were too late.  There were photos from Dad's family that had no labels and we never would know who these people were.  It was such a shame.  The particular photo in this poem picture is a favorite of mine.  I still own it because it at least helps me see what my father may have looked like as a child.  He was born in 1907 and this photo had a date: 1919.  Dad would have been close in age to these boys.  So it has some use but I feel sad each time I look at it because dad saved it so it had meaning to him.  Who are these boys?

Snowflakes Fell Today

My husband and I enjoy snow.  We look forward to it.  We fight over who will shovel the snow.  We build snowmen.  We like the crisp, dry winter air.  It feels good to be out in it.  We are among the few who can say we can hardly wait for the first real snowfall.

The Beauty of the Earth

In the Doctrine and Covenants it reads, "But they reside in the presence of God, on a globe like a sea of glass and fire, where all things for their glory are manifest, past, present, and future, and are continually before the Lord."  I hope that is all symbolic or figurative of something because I happen to absolutely love our planet just the way it is and hope for an eternity in which to enjoy its beauty.  It was on a recent trip to southern Utah that I was reminded just how beautiful it is.

Wee Friends

We live close to Kensington Metro Park in Michigan.  There is a trail by the nature center where over the years the birds have grown accustomed to being hand fed.  It is magical to say the least.  I think of St. Francis of Assisi and the beautiful photos of him surrounded by birds.  He is known as the patron saint of animals, birds, and the environment and is quoted as having said,  “If you have men who will exclude any of God's creatures from the shelter of compassion and pity, you will have men who will deal likewise with their fellow men.”  There is a story told of him that goes like this: "It is said that, one day, while Francis was traveling with some companions, they happened upon a place in the road where birds filled the trees on either side. Francis told his companions to "wait for me while I go to preach to my sisters the birds." The birds surrounded him, intrigued by the power of his voice, and not one of them flew away. He is often portrayed with a bird, typically in his hand."

And so it is at Kensington.  The birds line the trees on either side and are delighted to see you hold out your hand to feed them.

Blue Skies

I must admit that as much as I like watching ocean waves and campfires, I have probably spent the most time just watching the sky.  The sky is always with us and it is ever changing.  It is never the same.  You can look in the  morning and watch the gradual dawn of light with its tendency to paint the clouds pink.  Sunsets are amazing; the colors blazing in the sky.  But summer afternoons when you lie on the grass and watch the clouds is about as good as it gets.  Isn't it amazing how much fun can be had for free?

Tide Pools

These photos were taken on the northern California coast when my husband and I served as missionaries for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in the California Santa Rosa mission.  Our son, Brad, came to visit and we headed for the coast.  We are each fascinated by the natural world around us and it was a wonderful day for exploring the tide pools. 

 

Landscaper

My husband and I love to go walking in parks - any park will do.  Just to be outside is so therapeutic.  Our backyard is in stiff competition as we have tried to create our own little park right here.  This poem combines these two places that we enjoy so much with the wonder of God's creation.  Isn't the world marvelous?

Autumn

Autumn doesn't last.  One day the trees are all afire with color and you think "Tomorrow we'll take a ride and enjoy them."  But that night it rains and the next day the leaves lie on the ground.  They have fallen from the weight of the water on them.  Just like that, you missed it.  Perhaps autumn was given to us to remind us that many things in life don't last.  Children grow all too quickly and they are out of the home and on their own.  Parents grow old while we watch but never see.  Each phase of life must be enjoyed while it is there.  It really is a once in a lifetime opportunity.

Morning Sky

It is amazing to me that all the people of this earth see the same sun, the same moon and stars.  We all hear birds sing and watch clouds up in the sky.  Flowers decorate every land.  Hills and mountains and plains and grasslands abound.  Rivers flow and oceans roar.  Peaceful lakes adorn the countrysides.  Shouldn't we just be so grateful for the beauty that has been given to us, that we are over-flowing with love  - and then extend that love to all mankind?

The Redwoods

When I was in the fifth grade, our music teacher taught us a song named "I know a Green Cathedral".  We memorized it and sang it in a program for our parents.  I have always loved that song.  But as happens with so many songs, it got lost in the recesses of my memory for a  very long time.  Then in 2006, my husband and I were called to the California Santa Rosa Mission of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  We drove all the way to California not knowing what was in store for us.  Soon after arriving the locals began telling us of things we must see and do while we were there.  Seeing the redwoods was on the top of that list.  And so we found ourselves one day at the Muir Redwoods National Monument just north of the Golden Gate Bridge. After a short walk, we found ourselves in the midst of these giants and all at once I knew what that song from so long ago meant.  Here I felt what the composer had been saying as the words and the melody came back to my mind.

I know a green cathedral,
a hallowed forest shrine.  

Where trees in love join hands above
to arch your prayer and mine.

Within its cool depths sacred, 

the priestly cedar sighs.
And the fir and pine lift arms divine
unto the clear blue skies.

 

In my dear green cathedral
there is a quiet seat.
And choir loft in branched croft  

where songs of birds hymn sweet.

And I like to think at evening
when the stars its arches light. 

That my Lord and God 

treads its hallowed sod 

in the cool, calm peace of night.

Cloud Windows

Isn't the world amazingly beautiful?  Can you not recall time after time when you have looked somewhere and were just filled with the pure joy of seeing beauty surround you?  It can happen on a mountain top or in your own backyard.  It could be the night sky or the dew on a rose.  It might be a newborn calf or a blue bird on the limb of a tree.  On the day of this photo we were enjoying the northern California coast.  It was a cloudy day when just for a moment the clouds opened and let the sunlight through.

Blue Birds

We lived in Tennessee for five years amidst some of the most lovely scenery there is.  The Smokies lay a bit off to the east but the foothills spread way over to where we had planted ourselves.  Just thinking back I feel my body relax as an inner smile begins to spread through me.  It was just SO beautiful.  

My best friend Debbie called one day and asked if I was busy.  "Come on down and let's go hike the hills and look for bluebirds", she said.  And so I headed down Spencer Highway to Deb's house and we hiked all around her place.  And yes, we did see a bluebird.  It was a magical moment for me.  I had never seen one before!

Creation

I was reading in the Book of Mormon one day and focusing on scriptures that describe the Savior as 

Creator.  For example, in 3 Nephi 9:15 it reads: "Behold, I am Jesus Christ the Son of God. I created the  heavens and the earth and all things that in them are."

As I read these words I was immediately transported in thought to our own garden.  I always feel 

like, when I am in the garden working, I begin to catch a glimpse of the creation.  And so I wrote this poem.

The Slow Pace of Winter

My husband gets so confused at my changing moods.  One day I love the winter and the next I have had enough; I want spring.  I don't see the problem - it's just how I feel at the moment.  I guess I have lived with myself long enough to know I will change my mind. You'll see what I am talking about as you read this poem and then the one called "I Need Spring".  I hope someone out there relates to these. . .

Seasonal Mix

Lynn and I served a mission in Santa Rosa, California from October 2006 - September

2008.  We love our Michigan seasons and knew that it would be different in California but

never dreamed how.  We love Santa Rosa now - it is our second home.  I suppose the

experiences of a mission endear any place to the missionaries who served there.  

But we must admit that we like spring best when the world around us has gone to sleep for a few months.  We are amazed each April as plant reappear "from nowhere".   And so the two pictures contrast the two places:  Michigan where each season stands alone and California where it seemed to happen all at once!

I Need Spring

I've never been diagnosed with SAD but my own self-diagnosis tells me that I have trouble dealing with the darkness of winter.  I love snow and the cold.  I like that the world slows down - no grass to mow and no weeds to pull.  But the darkness of winter gets to me and I'm always glad to pass the winter solstice and know that every day there is a little more light.

Beauty among the Thorns

We have not been successful at raising roses in our garden.  Our sandy soil extends at least fifteen feet downward and it is very difficult to keep it moist.  Add to that the harsh Michigan winters.  But one year we purchased this sweet and delicate rose from Jackson and Perkins.  Designed to grow in the north, it is guaranteed to restore itself from the roots if it is subject to winter kill.  It has tried admirably to grow for us.  It is quite small - about a foot tall and delicate all over.  But it is oh, so beautiful when it blooms.  We watch anxiously each year for this lovely favorite of ours to arrive and it never disappoints us.   Perhaps because we know how hard it struggles to survive, it is the perfect rose to remind us that  amid the struggles of life, there is a beauty that we must not miss. 

Spring Defined

Every year it is the same.  We are utterly amazed at the transformation of the earth that takes place so quickly.  One day it is a dreary winter landscape and the next flowers are popping up all around.  No other season bursts upon us like spring.  The joy of creation is evident.  Our gratitude for the beauty of the earth overflows.

Snowdrops defy the Weather!

The first time we saw a snow drop we were flabbergasted.  It was a snowy February day and we happened to be walking around our yard, enjoying a cold winter stroll.  There at the foot of our espalier were flowers in bloom.  We couldn't believe it.  What were these brave little plants that were hardy enough to pop forth in winter.  It's proper name is Galanthus but snow drop is much more appropriate.  They bloom anytime before the spring equinox taking their clue from the weather.  This year they bloomed late because they were blanketed in a foot and a half of snow until late March.

Cosmos Dance Along Our Driveway

Cosmos are an old-fashioned flower.  They are delicate and lovely.  You have to deadhead the flowers and so there is some maintenance for the flower bed.  But we chose them for another reason.  The goldfinch love their seeds.  And so we planted them all along our driveway and in the late summer as seed-heads form, the birds come and land on the delicate flower stems.  But the stems are not sturdy and the weight of the birds bends them.  Back and forth they sway - oblivious to their precarious situation.  The goldfinch are happy as they eat with delight.  And we are equally happy as we watch them!

 

Morning Glory

The morning glory is a hardy little plant that once established will twine itself around anything it can find and climb.  I favor the blue variety.  The flower opens early, greeting the morning.  It seems to have a will to survive and often self seeds and reappears the next year.  It can handle poor soil and very little water.  It is just a strong little plant that brightens any place it grows.

God's Palette

We are surrounded by a world of color and each season has it's own special display.  The colors of winter in Michigan are white and black and every shade of gray.  Those can seem drab as winter drags on and on but they serve their purpose to slow our lives and calm our spirits.  Even our February snow drops are white.

So when spring comes with its bright display I am surprised by it's beauty each year - as if I were seeing it for the first time.  The purples and yellows and greens come first as crocus and daffodils bloom.  Then come the tulips and hyacinths with colors of every hue.

I cannot even imagine how much fun it must have been to create the flowers!

Interior Design

I am sure I have said this before but there are many moments that come for a very short time and if you are to enjoy them you must lay everything else aside and just go!  Fireflies on a summer evening are only here at a certain time in twilight.  Early morning fogs disappear as the sun rises.  A newborn with all the sweet sounds and the wondrous smell of new life only lasts a little while and then the baby is rolling over or starting to crawl.  Snowfalls that cover the trees and make the whole world a magical place are another one.  Even on the coldest of days the sun's rays will reach down and touch  that snow and it will not last.  So when there is a really good snowfall and the world has been transformed, we grab our cameras and head outside. 

Daffodils Make Me Laugh

My husband and I love our yard.  We know every flower and plant and bird and weed!  We try to spend time out there daily enjoying nature and the little park we have created for ourselves.  The seasons come and go and we find ourselves watching for our little "friends" as they come forth from the ground or bloom in their own time.  There is always an emotional response to each.  And in truth, daffodils do make me laugh.  They are such a happy flower!

Sunset Dance

We have a favorite spot for watching sunsets.  It is "up north" as we say here in Michigan.  Just west of Mackinaw on Lake Michigan is a park called Wilderness State Park.  It is one of those few remaining beaches where you will share the sunset with but a handful of other visitors so you can sit and watch in peace and quiet.  Unless it is a rainy evening, we have always been guaranteed a beautiful sunset.  There is something wonderful about the sky.  Whether it is the rosy glow of the morning, a vivid sunset, puffy clouds on a summer day, or the magnificent night stars, the sky draws me heavenward, reminding me that there is so much more out there - like a glimpse of eternity.

God Gave us the Birds

I love this time of the year.  I like to crack the window open a bit at night; fresh air to sleep by.  And then in the morning I can hear the birds singing.  It is such a welcoming sound.  It is if they are calling us to "Come and play!".  My husband hates it when I say that because he is a night owl and wishes the birds would be quiet and let him sleep.  But not me - I love their morning wake up call and I am out of bed and ready for the day!

Fascination

I was sitting watching the ocean one day and found myself lost in time as I just watched wave after wave crash on the rocks.  I am fascinated by water and how beautiful such a simple thing becomes when you add movement. I began to think about if there was anything else that I found this captivating.  When else have I found myself just so caught up in something that the world around me just disappeared?  I realized that for me there are two other times I can remember.  I can sit and watch the flames of a campfire.  But probably the most fascinating of all is just a newborn child.  I could not help but write this poem.

The Snow Came Heavy

We have learned that some opportunities are here for just a moment so you must drop everything and just go and enjoy!  A beautiful snowfall is such an occasion.

Autumn Feelings

I  wrote this autumn poem one day when I was just have autumn feelings - you know how you feel when the seasons are changing.  You can't really explain it.  It's not about words.  It's about an impression you have.  Like spring fever.  I have autumn fever perhaps.  I just know when it's in the air. I can feel it.

Spring's Secret

I don't think our Michigan phenomena is universal, but certainly in all areas where winter is a very real cold season that drags on forever there is a longing for spring.  A warm day in early March comes and we get our expectations up.  We know that spring will not be here until April but we want it so much to come.  Our hearts override our intellect and then when the next day turns cold and it snows we are so disappointed.  This happens year after year after year.  But we only see the surface.  Deep in the ground those early spring flowers are at work, bulbs expanding, plant slowly pushing upward.  I think they like to be there just below the surface, waiting for the right moment to spring forth.  It is their little secret.

Sunrise

I love the sky.  My husband Lynn and I are often found calling each other and saying "Come, look at the sky."  And often, the beauty is momentary as light and clouds and color move and combine and then it is gone!  We will run to grab a camera only to return and realize we have missed the picture. Maybe that is why it is so fascinating.  It keeps changing.

Because the school where I taught was eastward, I watched sunrises daily as I drove to work.  They affect me differently than sunsets.  They are peaceful and offer promise of the new day before us.  I find them filled with hope.

Those Noisy Birds

I am a morning person so as dawn nears my sleep is light.  Perhaps that is why the birds awaken me. I really don't mind getting up early but there is a limit as to how early.  When the sounds begin at four o'clock  it gets really aggravating.

Of course, if the window was closed it wouldn't be so bad, but fresh, cool air makes sleeping more pleasant. I hop in bed and open the window each evening and take in the wonderful air.

And then there is a huge tree just outside that window so the birds have a lovely place to perch and sing or talk or squawk each morning.  So I do this to myself as you can see.